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I want to live like that!!!

I want to live like that!!!

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As I prepared my heart and mind for the one year anniversary of my loves entrance into Heaven I had spent the two days before August 13th alone praying, reading, reflecting.  I spent many hours rereading the cards, letters, messages that hundreds of family and friends sent me over the year. God impressed several things upon my heart which I will share later but as I arrived home from my time away I drove up to my house and driveway and it was lined with white balloons.  There were white balloons hanging from the trees that had words on them. Things that Todd's life had meant to so many people.  How his life impacted theirs.  Things like: lived with no regrets, contagious, loved others, loved first, bold and fearless, taught me to Live For More, Jesus lover, great friend, teacher, husband, father and much more!!  As I read these I was again reminded of just how much my amazing husband truly lived for eternal things.  He invested in lives because of the love and sacrifice that was shown to him by His first love, Jesus! His impact on those lives was still effecting their lives and many more.

As I went to slept that night my heart was at peace I slept well and then woke up at 9AM!  I couldn't believe that I slept in on the morning of this first anniversary.  Shouldn't I be restless or sad??  I immediately had many thoughts come to my mind so I decided to share the following with my Facebook friends:

Good Morning Friends! Can you believe I just woke up?? All I can say is that time alone with the Lord this weekend did my heart and soul good!! I have a bit of a heavy heart this morning which I think is only natural but on top of that a peace that I know can only come from resting in the arms of Jesus and knowing I am exactly where He wants me to be.  I woke up feeling like a butterfly who has just emerged from her cocoon. Although I don't really know how that feels I have only heard that the struggle inside the cocoon is very great and painful yet is the part of the process that allows the butterfly to emerge strong and beautiful and all that God intended her to be. I think that represents how I feel today this one year anniversary after losing my best friend, true love, Daddy to my children, spiritual leader and my pastor. I now realize that even thought the pain is not gone it is better. I will make it!! My kids are still amazing me everyday with all they remember their Daddy teaching them and loving them. Their joy is like NO other, except maybe Todd's =)

I was reminded this weekend of just how much love, prayers and support I received right after Todd went home as I reread all the cards, letters, notes and even most of the Facebook messages that I received over the past year. I felt as though I was hugged and loved on all over again!!  I am forever grateful for that LOVE!!  As I walk through this day I will celebrate a life lived well, one with NO REGRETS and a life that truly Lived For More than this world has to offer! I am more than proud to have had the privilege to walk and spend 24 years of that life with him. I am a better women for it! 
There is a popular Christian song that I hear all the time on the radio and I can't help but think about Todd.  Here are the lyrics.

Sometimes I think What will people say of me When I'm only just a memory When I'm home where my soul belongs

Was I love When no one else would show up Was I Jesus to the least of those Was my worship more than just a song

I want to live like that And give it all I have So that everything I say and do Points to You

If love is who I am Then this is where I'll stand Recklessly abandoned Never holding back

I want to live like that I want to live like that

Am I proof That You are who you say You are That grace can really change a heart Do I live like Your love is true

People pass And even if they don't know my name Is there evidence that I've been changed When they see me, do they see You

I want to live like that And give it all I have So that everything I say and do Points to You

If love is who I am Then this is where I'll stand Recklessly abandoned Never holding back

I want to live like that I want to live like that I want to show the world the love You gave for me I'm longing for the world to know the glory of the King

I want to live like that And give it all I have So that everything I say and do Points to You

If love is who I am Then this is where I'll stand Recklessly abandoned Never holding back

I want to live like that I want to live like that

All I keep thinking was HE WAS ALL THAT!  Will people be able to say the same thing about me??  What about you?

SO as Todd shared this with the Carthage Church (the church that housed us outside of Joplin last August 13th), I will leave it with you: "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward" Colossians 3:23-24  and as God would have it unbeknownst to Todd,  he would receive his reward later that day.

I love you all!! Live For More!!

Cassi

Celebrating a beautiful marriage!!

Celebrating a beautiful marriage!!

The power of the written word

The power of the written word