I don't know about you but the death of Whitney Houston has hit me hard. I think because I am reminded of the painful reality that we never know when our time on earth is over. Since the death of Todd a little over 6 months ago I have thought many times about those last days and months leading up to his death. As I sat last night watching the Grammy's and then this morning thinking about how unexpected and tragically a beautiful 48 year old magical voice star was gone. I wonder what events played out in her last days? Did those who were close to her know how much she loved them and just how important they were to her? I think of and pray for her family especially her daughter who now is left with out a Mother. I can't help but think back to my own experience and how my larger than life, Jesus loving, truth sharing man had been with me the day before his death as we drove to Joplin. He shared stories, jokes and had the whole van laughing and then 24 hours later we drove home in silence with hearts and minds in shock over the past events. What I am thinking most about today with all the publicity behind a music icon is that even though you and I may never be known to the world the way Whitney Houston was we are still leaving a mark. Some sort of lasting legacy for our children, friends and family and even the world. How are you doing that?? Todd often said, "what are you doing in the vapor of your life that will echo through eternity?" WHOA, that is something really big to think about. In comparison to eternity for those of you who know Jesus personally our life really is a vapor and is so short! So how are you loving, caring, influencing those around you to do more and be more for God?? How are you doing personally at living for more, more than this world has to offer??
My life with Todd was marked with so much joy and some pain and struggle too. All of which God's used to mold and shape me into the women I am today. Today I am thinking about how we lived, loved and shared life to the fullest!! We were blessed to have dated for 6 years and then be married 10 years without children. (Funny how I see that as a blessing now but at the time 10 years seemed like an eternity of waiting for and wanting children) and 8 years with children. We had been told early in our marriage that instead of trying to keep up with the Jones's and have all the latest material possessions we should create memories. Take trips, get away for the weekend, enjoy date nights regularly. SO we heeded that advice and traveled, did ministry side by side, which was a true adventure, dated each other and still considered our life even in time of difficulties an adventure as God was our guide and we held our lives with an open hand.
So as I sit here and think of my life the past 24 years especially with the man I thought would be my love, life partner and husband into my golden years and then in contrast thinking about WH and that her life was cut shorter than I am sure so many imagined. What can I say to you that will give you that wake up call you need? Only that life is short! How short only God knows. Psalm 139:16b "All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Death has made me reevaluate and do a lot of soul searching. I have had a wake up call to say the least.
- What are my priorities?
- What is my purpose now?
- What are the things that are truly important to me?
- How much time do I spend with my kids and family?
- When is the last time I said, "I love you?."
- Do my family and friend know how important they are are to me?
- Do I let the little things in life get me down or bent out of shape?
- How am I living my life that is going to leave a lasting legacy for my kids?
For all of us this may look a little different. The circumstances of your life are most likely nothing like mine. You may have children you may not. You may be married or single, etc... If you are like me I know I have made plenty of mistakes in the past but I know, I cannot change the past BUT I can certainly change the future! What a great comfort I take in knowing that. I feel like daily I need a do over with my kids as I may say or do something hurtful or with the wrong heart. They are quick to forgive though =) One thing I also know is that because Todd and I had a policy to not let the sun go down on our anger and to not leave one another upset or mad. I have no regrets. We loved deeply and made a point to tell one another and show it as often as possible. I have a lifetime of incredible memories to recall and know that God is good and that even though my life with Todd is now over and a thing of the past I can carry on his legacy of Living For More and that as I continue to live with the belief that my life is not over and that God is not done with me or my kids yet!! I also have a great opportunity to continue to live under the "living life to fullest" today with my children, family and friends!!
Thanks for taking the time to read my blog which is coming straight from my heart. I pray it makes sense to you and that God will use my words and experiences to inspire and encourage you wherever you are in life. God has a great plan for your life but can't move a parked car. So get moving! Tell someone you love why you love them today. Do a random act of kindness. Share the life changing reality of Jesus with someone today! Cherish those God has placed in your life every day with the knowledge that none of us know when we will breathe our last breath.
Life is to short not to Live For More!!